i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
