you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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