So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
