Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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