Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
