I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
