its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
