He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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