i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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