coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
