So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
