Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
