I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
