I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
