Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
