I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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