Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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