I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
