I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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