I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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