I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
