Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
