Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i think i have two assholes
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize