There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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