i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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