Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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