i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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