Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
