are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
