Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
PANTIES FOUND
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