I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
