even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
