How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize