Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
