Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
