what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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