I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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