I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
