I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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