you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
