dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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