PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i dont even know how to be here
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The dick lei will go down in squad history
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
