It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
