some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover