I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.