How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
