you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
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Let's paint friendship bongs
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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