I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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