I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
