yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
