Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
