Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize