If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
