Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
