Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Randomize
