Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
