Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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