Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.