Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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