Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter

(310): View more from California

Whats your twitter name

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(917): omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter (310): Whats your twitter name http://tfl.nu/jdyv

Replies (8) Good night (807) Bad night (2686)
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(714): View more from California

dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"

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(714): dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes" http://tfl.nu/s663

Replies (39) Good night (4074) Bad night (744)
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(812): View more from Indiana

My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow

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(812): My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow http://tfl.nu/ea94

Replies (236) Good night (66472) Bad night (3035)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?

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(505): When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward? http://tfl.nu/82ih

Replies (15) Good night (740) Bad night (3937)
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(587): View more from Alberta

His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?

(587): View more from Alberta

She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.

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(587): His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl? (780): You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus? (587): She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass. http://tfl.nu/i4m5

Replies (68) Good night (2463) Bad night (4684)
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(972): View more from Texas

I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"

(1-972): View more from Texas

More like "Chia Pet"

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(972): I just named my vagina "The Boneyard" (1-972): More like "Chia Pet" http://tfl.nu/ds7x

Replies (19) Good night (1049) Bad night (5297)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Just found my car keys in your throw-up.

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(732): Just found my car keys in your throw-up. http://tfl.nu/b21p

Replies (20) Good night (984) Bad night (8865)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.

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(504): All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself. http://tfl.nu/wwab

Replies (45) Good night (1019) Bad night (7310)
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(517): View more from Michigan

I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.

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(517): I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him. http://tfl.nu/gawh

Replies (5) Good night (2950) Bad night (754)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.

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(770): Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers. http://tfl.nu/qvqu

Replies (10) Good night (2873) Bad night (983)
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(406): View more from Montana

Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.

(1-406): View more from Montana

I'm not even gonna ask.

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(406): Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you. (1-406): I'm not even gonna ask. http://tfl.nu/42tt

Replies (2) Good night (871) Bad night (637)
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(563): View more from Iowa

He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.

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(563): He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name. http://tfl.nu/wgo9

Replies (7) Good night (686) Bad night (1868)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.

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(330): I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr. http://tfl.nu/4w4h

Replies (1) Good night (895) Bad night (384)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party

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(701): he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party http://tfl.nu/b7mb

Replies (0) Good night (720) Bad night (395)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.

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(330): I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine. http://tfl.nu/asdt

Replies (0) Good night (1044) Bad night (306)

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