You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?