Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.

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  (617): So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon. http://tfl.nu/mzh2
  Replies (9) Good night (817) Bad night (1360)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of

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  (850): ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of http://tfl.nu/f0gq
  Replies (5) Good night (691) Bad night (2611)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.

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  (912): if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste. http://tfl.nu/c4ff
  Replies (9) Good night (3273) Bad night (741)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.

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  (337): Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things. http://tfl.nu/jc42
  Replies (9) Good night (1269) Bad night (3197)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now

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  (902): i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now http://tfl.nu/uxyj
  Replies (5) Good night (873) Bad night (3519)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire

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  (757): No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire http://tfl.nu/j9c5
  Replies (3) Good night (3282) Bad night (1033)
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  (450): View more from Quebec

  I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life

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  (450): I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life http://tfl.nu/01gr
  Replies (7) Good night (4234) Bad night (1208)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan

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  (361): like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan http://tfl.nu/pxmf
  Replies (15) Good night (2563) Bad night (1062)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  RIP Mr Bojangles.

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  (910): In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic. (919): RIP Mr Bojangles. http://tfl.nu/00j7
  Replies (13) Good night (1266) Bad night (2242)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight

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  (214): Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight http://tfl.nu/391k
  Replies (5) Good night (993) Bad night (437)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on

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  (505): How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on http://tfl.nu/wdzm
  Replies (5) Good night (527) Bad night (1348)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed

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  (204): But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed http://tfl.nu/dvif
  Replies (2) Good night (795) Bad night (302)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.

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  (281): Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny. http://tfl.nu/fa67
  Replies (5) Good night (671) Bad night (448)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..

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  (347): Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that.. http://tfl.nu/n8po
  Replies (4) Good night (619) Bad night (483)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here

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  (860): Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here http://tfl.nu/roow
  Replies (6) Good night (1096) Bad night (328)

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