let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
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I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
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I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?