Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?

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(310): View more from California

i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"

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(602): View more from Arizona

hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad

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(917): View more from New York City

just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever

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(952): View more from Minnesota

third nipple confirmed

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?

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