I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Small penises have feelings too.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
