i was born a porn star she said
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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