So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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