How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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