Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
