i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
did i walk over a car last night?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
