White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
