Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
