Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
