I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
